Right, this year has been emotional. No doubt the most emotional year ever. Everyone told us how time would go by so fast that first year… it’s a cliché but also SO true! Some moments that have made me cry this year:
I cried when he cried
At the beginning my chest would hurt so hard with his cries. Especially when I was alone or in the night, it felt a bit like anxiety. I guess it’s the maternal instinct wanting to end any suffering of your offspring at all costs. I will never forget that feeling of wanting to stop it so badly and sometimes just not knowing how to. I found out later the solution was always boob…
I cried when I put away his clothes
I packed away his 0-3 months clothes into a box, then before long I was packing his 3-6 months, and then his 6-9 months… I never realised how wardrobe management would be such a big part of this year. I get sad that it’s going so fast yet happy he’s growing big and healthy. And mostly I’m shocked at how much more clothes he owns and wears than me!
I cried when he got his first tooth
Oscar got his first tooth at 6.5 months. It made me realise he was no longer a baby and his smile would never be the same. I thought I would hate seeing his teeth because I wanted gummy smiles, but then I started falling in love with his cute toothy pegs and I love how his smile is changing all the time.
I cried when he kissed me
Oscar kisses with an open mouth and duck lips. I began realising it wasn’t accidental as he would give me eye contact before slowly bringing his head closer, lip-to-lip before planting his whole open mouth on my lips. It’s the cutest thing ever (despite the slobber!) . He is being trained up on kisses and cuddles and I think it’s going well so far :). My favourite thing is when he takes a break from playing to give me a kiss and then carries on with his toys.
I cried when he first crawled away from me
We were at the library for our weekly Baby Bounce class. He used to sit on my lap during all the songs (our favourite song being: ‘Who’s this sitting on my lap?’). Then one day at around 7 months, he was able to crawl off and play with the toys in the centre and not even go by me once. I cried inside- if I did it publicly I’m sure I would’ve got a lot of eye rolling. But it was another sign of his development and independence… and the fact that he will not always need his mummy.
And then there’s the usual TV about children with illnesses, super talented children and just babies in general that just make me think of Oscar and realise there can never be enough photos, never enough cuddles, he is a miracle and so special and the days will and do go by so fast. It’s also so important to capture those cute things he does because after a few days he will probably stop doing it and move onto something else. Is there anything that made you cry during those first months that probably seem ridiculous to anyone who isn’t a first time mum? Do share :)!